Your Trust Bank is directly related to your self-empowerment, self-worth and self-love. The fuller your Trust Bank is, the more confidence you will have in all areas of your life.
The more you believe in yourself to do ‘that thing’ the more likelihood of you actually doing it.
So let me ask you this –
- When there is something big in your life that you have committed to – what are the chances of you following through to completion?
- If someone else is involved and relying on you – how likely is it that you will do as you said you would?
I’m going to take a guess and say that most of the time, in these instances, you will commit to completion. Of course you wouldn’t want to let the other person down would you!
What about the times when there is not as much at stake. It could be that the only person who will be impacted is you. Or maybe it’s a small thing like taking the rubbish out. In these instances, how likely are you to follow through and do as you say?
The general consensus is that it is a lot easier to do something when it’s a bigger than normal task at hand, or if other people are involved.
What we don’t realise is that all the times we say we’re going to do something and we don’t (regardless of the size of the task) it makes an impact on how we feel about ourselves and our ability to trust ourselves, on an unconscious level.
Every time you don’t do what you say you will, your Trust Bank reduces in size… little by little.
Think about it like a bank account – when you don’t do what you say you will, a withdrawal is made. However when you do as you say you will, a deposit is made allowing your Trust Bank to get fuller.
You trust bank can be affected from deciding that you will dedicate one night per week to no TV and then succumbing to turning the telly on.
From promising to take your lunch to work instead of buying it on Monday – but then you’re running late in the morning and it doesn’t happen.
Or skipping that ‘small’ task at work because no-one will notice, or calling that client that you said you were going to get in touch with… the list goes on.
Have you ever noticed how low you feel after you say your going to do something and then you don’t?
Sometimes it can bring inner feelings of guilt or shame. Not the most motivating emotional states that you can experience. And it’s likely to be even more difficult to build up the motivation from this point than from where you started.
So, I’m hoping this is painting the picture for you that the Trust Bank is a really important piece of our self-belief puzzle.
If you’re starting to wonder…how do I build my Trust Bank? I have great news!
There are three simple steps that you can start implementing right now to help you build your Trust Bank.
Just before we get into that, let me say that it is really important for you not to dwell on the past at this point – don’t go feeling guilty for all the things you haven’t done up until now.
Rather, use that as the motivator to kick your Trust Bank into gear and starting filling that baby up with lots of love, kindness and self-care.
1. Under Promise and Over Deliver
Start small. Don’t jump in and say ‘I’m going to the gym 7 days a week’ when historically you’ve been going any where from 0 to 2 times a week. This is not the most realistic goal you can set for yourself and you’re almost setting yourself up to fail.
Think about how you can set yourself up for success and how you can build the muscle around doing what you are committing to. So, you might commit to 2 times as a starting point. And if you go more – that’s awesome! That means you have under promised and over delivered!
As you build the muscle and when you’re consistently going to the gym twice a week, increase the goal up to 3 and then 4 etc until you hit your dream goal.
If you don’t achieve the goal of 2 times a week then you need to reflect on what stopped you – was the goal achievable? Were you simply getting in your own way? Or was the goal not meaningful or important enough to you?
2. Be Kind To Yourself
This exercise is not about beating yourself up or putting yourself down. It’s not about magnifying the guilt that is already within you around the ‘stuff’ you don’t do. So when you notice yourself doing this – STOP! It’s as simple as that.
It is simple, but I know that at times, it’s not easy. And the best way to get good at this is practice. So it might be to start with just acknowledging when the negative self-talk starts to happen and being aware of it enough to simply stop the negative chatter.
Then start to combat it with something that you did do well so that it is not just wholly and solely about how bad you think you were. This is about reframing. Giving it a different perspective. Or at the very least just quietening down the negative.
A great way to be kind to yourself is to write down at the end of each day 3 things that you acknowledge or are proud of yourself for. It could be three promises you made that you delivered on (again they can be the little things as well as the big things – the little things are just as important and are a great starting point to get some wins with increasing your Trust Bank).
3. Reset your Trust Bank every day.
And the end of every day reset your Trust Bank. Visualise a little dial that you literally turn to reset. This gives you the opportunity to start fresh each day.
If you mucked it up and you didn’t do so good – do not dwell on it!
The worse thing you can do is sit and mull over the fact that you didn’t achieve it. As I said, take a moment of reflection to make sure that it is worth something to commit to and why you didn’t follow through and then, move on.
That is it; invest no more time in it.
By resetting your trust bank each day you allow yourself the freedom to go in to the next day with a clean state. With the inspiration to give it another go free from guilt. To show the world (and most importantly yourself) what you’re really made of.
Conversely, if you did great that day, you have made a significant deposit into your Trust Bank. You would still go through the process of turning the dial and resetting.
So you will still start each day with a clean slate however you will have stronger muscles in this area that will help take you forward and through the next day and the next set of promises you have made with a much more positive mindset.
You’ll find that it gets easier bit-by-bit to follow through with things. You’ll also find that when consistency joins the party you will start to feel even more empowered – again especially when it’s the little things.
So what I would love for you to do from here is under promise and over deliver on the promises you make each day, journal the top three things you acknowledge yourself for and practice resetting the dial on your Trust Bank each day.
See what difference it makes. The difference it makes in how you stand and sit, how you present yourself to other people, how you feel when you close your eyes and go to sleep at night. It is a wonderful muscle to build and the benefits are countless.
As a lasting thought – remember that it is the little things that matter!
How you do one thing is how you do anything so keep your eye’s open to how you do the little things and get to work on building those Trust Bank muscles.