Victor or victim. Who are you?

Understanding that you have a choice to be a victor or a victim can help you not only live the life you’ve always wanted, but also achieve big success in business and sales.

There are certain events in life (and in business) that you simply cannot control. And it’s a given that all of us will experience both good and bad times as well as the ups and downs of business. When we signed up for life, we signed up for both (and let’s face it, it’s through the tough times that we really find out what we’re made of).

Despite not having control over the bad, there is an element of control that we do have over how big and how frequent the good times are. One of the ways that we can do this is through applying the concept of ‘being at cause’ resulting in being a Victor of life. The opposite of this is to be at ‘effect’ resulting in a victim mentality and outcome.

So, who are we being when we are living life at cause and who are we being when we live life at effect?

To live at cause and to be a Victor in life, means that you take ownership (I am in control of my life), take accountability (I am accountable and I own the good AND the bad stuff, if I make a mistake, that’s okay – I’ll learn from it, I won’t blame someone else) and you take responsibility (I am 100% responsible for the results I have in my life).

Conversely living life at effect will see you living in denial (nope, everything’s fine – there’s no problem), there will be blame (the market, my boss, my partner) and justifying (if you knew what I had to deal with….) along with a lot of excuses (I was going to but xyz happened, I would if I didn’t have to…).

You’ll know if you are living your life at cause or at effect (and be able to identify it in others) through certain traits such as having awareness that there is always a choice or being stuck in the belief that there is no choice.

Another indicator is adult behavior vs. child-like behavior or rationally responding to life and circumstances instead of emotionally reacting (check out my next blog for more info on this).

To live at cause is to come from a place of love instead of fear. It is to take 100% responsibility for results in life instead of outsourcing personal power and emotions to external environments (ie. relying on external factors such as other people for validation, happiness or gratitude).

Most importantly to live at cause means that rather than being stuck in your ‘story’ and allowing history to define who you are – you are inspired and you become your own hero!

It’s easy to take responsibility and live at cause when times are good. However, it’s when times are tough, that living at cause is most important. Through challenge and change comes growth and learning.

So what can you do today to start living at cause and become a VICTOR of your life?It starts with awareness. Do you know if you are living your life at cause or are you living at effect?

Always ask yourself ‘Am I being accountable for the results in this area of my life?’ If the answer is NO, look at the above traits, identify who you are being and put practical steps in place to create positive change.

For example, if you are playing the blame game, what can you do to turn this around? It’s through understanding where you sit on the scale that you can start to create change.

It may vary dependent on your environment (ie. work, home, social), change as you enter new life phases and may even vary with different people in your life (ie. you tend to take on more of a victim attitude when talking to certain people and not others).

Right now there are probably instances where you are being a Victor in life and also other areas where you are being a Victim. If you are unsure, start looking at people around you. Notice the language they are using, their disposition, their motivation levels. And if you are feeling brave – you could ask people around you for feedback on yourself.

Whilst we can’t choose certain circumstances of life itself, we can always choose who we are being and how we respond to those circumstances.

So the real question is which are you going to be – a Victim or a Victor?

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